I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
