i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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