All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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