So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
