Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
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She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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