K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
