omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
