i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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