The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
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If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
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We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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