Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
