and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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