New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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