chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
