I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
