Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
