This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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