The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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