All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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