i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
