She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
