I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
