where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
