I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
