She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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