I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
