addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
