Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
