i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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