I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize