so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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