so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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