I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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