what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
