Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize