Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize