I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
