I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
