Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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