Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They took my balls.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
