No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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