If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
