he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
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Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize