I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
