Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize