Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
