When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
