Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
