and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My ATM looks so different sober.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
