I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize