just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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