please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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