Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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