i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So much rum. So many feels.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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