On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
