butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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