So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
