Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
